Afterward​/​In​-​Between​/​Never Die

by Bachelor Paradise

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Recorded in a small room during Thanksgiving break 2013.


released December 14, 2013

Billy Felix - Guitars, voice, drums, keys



all rights reserved


Bachelor Paradise Sacramento, California

Fluorescent and hazy, waiting and lazy since 2013.

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Track Name: Shades
endless courtesy calls
the singer thinks its odd
she wears her shades like a facade

pick a day
could be anyday
and write me letters to prove to me i'm sane

too busy to care
this ain't no love affair
i retreat to facsimile and fade

save some face
save some time
i couldn't waste it was never mine

wake me up i need a pencil sketch of me
i will cling to any warmth is what i mean

me over like a wish
i'd die awhile but i know what i'd miss

and one day i'll waste your time
wait awhile, you know i'll wait awhile
i don't mind, i'll never mind
Track Name: Flight or Flight
I was in debt to a muse
and it was such a pretty thing
but i was bemused at my debt
in the silence without seeing

and the weeks couldn't compare
to all the days and days
stay here long enough
you're bound to float away

the luckless losing ones that stand on their own
the luckiest people could fall without knowing

so why don't you just hold on tight to what you wouldn't want to chase
because all those pretty birds - they've got wings to fly away
or you could just let it go, & chalk it up to older age
and you just felt so solid & upstanding in your ways

but we all got immaterial & we got strange
and all these weeks could not compare to days & days & days & days etc.

so high in the air, after weeks & weeks of days
the trees are overgrown & the birds have flown away

the luckless losing ones still linger on their own
the luckiest people they could fall without knowing
Track Name: Scrapbook Atlas
in the aftermath i obliterated mountainsides
and rode elevators through waterfalls
exhilarate in small victory
smell the smoke, feel the wrecking ball

and on the top floor
i could not stand
pulled by gravity
i could not stand

the proportion of dreams to distance
a scrapbook atlas built to fill the gaping holes
between sleeper and dreamer lover and leaver
lover and leaver/left me alone, alone, alone

childhood heroes on my wall
bottle of gin in case i fall
they take different shapes at night
and they move

when there's always going to be a tomorrow the permanence weighs more
than the flea bitten sweating sorrow, electric touch that singed and sizzled
still recasts my thoughts these days
these thoughts take different shapes at night and they move

and they don't stop
Track Name: Hadouken!
denial and incompetence
i can't give what i hope to get
cause it's worthless

spend my money spend my time
and it's fine lights got dark and i lost the purpose

it don't burn but don't it ache
giving in was my first mistake but i'll wait
one more fireball

i don't answer and i shake my head
i go to sleep hungry wake up dead
what i meant to say is if its alright
i will hide behind the curtains every night

its a wish and it's a waste
giving in was my first mistake but i'll wait
one more fireball

i remember what you said
so thank you
Track Name: The Adventures of Ramona
her name’s ramona, she’s not quite 30
sometimes she goes out to the 9:30
sometimes she bakes a delicious pastry,
sometimes she looks at brains

I wanna bake you a giant cheesecake,
or a soufflé, or a crepe
just to celebrate this day, but right now
I can only speculate

about the adventures of ramona,
it’s not a cartoon tv show,
but the adventures of ramona
somewhere someone anyone would wanna go

despite opinions I would never rob her house
and when things are faded, headed south
it’s still good times when we hang out
I can drink my beer and hear about

the adventures of ramona
she’s headed back to the east coast
the adventures of ramona
don’t forget to come home sometimes anyway

or maybe I should get off my ass and get on a plane etc
Track Name: Cartographer
i was a cartographer
flailing at the plans
subconscious and wasting
coincidental and hasty

you were a spectral thing
but not a bride in white
you couldn't walk through the door
i couldn't convince you twice

and on the way back home
the smell is sickly sweet
the pastures rot and ripen and
the measure of time will not yield

and so i chase the angles
and i extrapolate
mark down the intersections
wait and wait and wait and wait

i think of older days
with shadows stretching out
measuring the distance
while my eyes wandered about

thought of being indirect,
cause what's a boy to do?
every hypotenuse
too obvious or obtuse

on friday night
I go out to eat
something to feel or see or need or be
something to breathe

i reside in what i built
but i won't stop turning over stones
or going outside to turn them
over and over and over and over again
Track Name: Friday Night/Portrait Aversion/Love Minus Luol Deng/No Limit
wander ghostly scarecrow of a shadow
while children play in my neighborhood
steal to slight slope & smooth surface
fluorescent and hazy waiting and lazy

and so on til we stop waiting
now my frozen blood betrays me
I tilt my head, i show my teeth but i look angry
and so on until we stop waiting

i am not faithless i am true
i have a smile that is faithful
the freeway empties the lights stay on the windows facing
i walk in shadow not desperation

everytime i see you something breaks inside of me
just need a spinal tap i won’t feel nothing anymore etc.
Track Name: Lucky II
shadows get longer the phases change
the house got empty so i just sat and passed the time

girl made of cinders burst into flames
she kept me so warm and i just kept her here

shrouded in plastic the corpse of our days
we get what we want and when we don't we get what stays
Track Name: 94 Years of Solitude
there's so much beauty in all the things that i missed
there's a frantic air in the room as you read the list
and writhing in my veins would not subsist

the tale rose and fell your breath rose and fell your voice rose and fell the ghost rose and fell

the frailest arms could carry any load
i couldn't say a word so i kept my eyes on the road
a shambolic silence slicing through my throat

a postscript promise left to live or die a dim grey view of the moon at night stuck with wires apologize at least try

the static melts the meat from my bones
and i rust like a priest in a chapel alone
the revolution casts stones at you so you cast stones

a habit on fire

17 children wait for their father to come back home
and the town can't sleep though their minds are made of stone
to cheat death you must be fierce you must be lucky you must be known to never ever die

the body count rises you never ever die your love is gone but you never ever die the curtain falls but you never ever die the writing's on the wall you never ever die